As Featured in The Times Newspaper

 The Happiness Workshop 2008 was another fantastic success.  Thank you to all the parents, children and volunteers that participated. 

"Flying high with their “Passport to Happiness”

After another exceptional summer ‘Happiness Workshop’, the children have completed their passports and are flying high with their new found skills and knowledge. 

The theme of the week was gaining skills to ‘Think Happy to be Happy’, and each day the children learned simple, yet powerful techniques to gain a positive perspective in their lives.  They enjoyed the daily activities and with their completed passports in hand, they had the foundations to build on positive experiences to counteract the negative messages from day to day life. 

All of the activities at the Healing Feeling 4 Kids are based on the most up to date, accelerated thinking and scientific research into the emotional resilience and development of children.  But they are all presented to children in the simplest form, incorporated into fun and practical learning experiences.  This helps children know how to be happy, and they then exceed our expectations and surprise us by how much they develop their talents through their own curiosity.

Subsequently, parents were delighted that their children had gained so many invaluable empowering skills in such a short time.  One child described a vivid story of how he used his new found skill to reduce the worry and fear he felt when out walking with his mum; he fell into a pond and lost sight of his mum for a few seconds.  He said he called his ‘power animal’ (one of the methods the children were taught to get in touch with their inner resources) and told himself it would be OK – and it was! 

Some parents recognised an increase in their child’s confidence and assertiveness at home, other parents agreed that their children had a general feeling of peace, and they requested parent and child relaxation classes which are due to start in September 2008.

Pressure on children these days has increased so much – they are getting more and more work to do and less and less time to do it in.  Parents only want the best for their children; they want to give them what they themselves did not have in their own childhood; all they want is to see their children happy – this seems to be a universal feeling.  However, they are concerned that the education system is too geared on children getting good grades and seem to be interested only in “ticking the right boxes”.   Whilst academic success is positive, focussing so heavily on it tends to create a vicious cycle of stress for everyone.  The Government puts pressure on the teachers, the teachers on the parents and the parents on the children. 

Children are very often left to contain this stress and they are not always aware of the underlying cause of their undesired feelings, or may not have the internal resources to deal with it in a constructive way.  This can lead to challenging behaviour, and low achievement or low self-esteem if not addressed.  During the workshop, one child commented that after a short visualisation, she actually felt her ‘bad’ feeling leave her body.  When asked what it was, she said she didn’t know, but she knew it had been there.  There was a definite softness and calm with this child by Friday.  This shows how these simple, yet powerful exercises can be so life-changing because the child has the gift of knowing how to ‘go back into their visualisations’ for life, thus giving her the tools to prevent this happening again.  Just imagine how empowering the world would be if everyone could ‘visualise’ their ailments away – because it IS possible.  

When children feel inadequate to cope with a situation and they don’t really understand what to do or told “to deal with it” for instance if they are the older sibling, it frustrates them and it will show up in their behaviour, which can be counter-productive and/or self destructive.  If they are not managed properly the problem does not get better – it only gets worse.  Children can become irritable, angry, sad, introverted, take the role of either victim or the bully and/or have poor social skills or a whole range of other emotional problems.  This then affects their school work or social life.  Some desperate parents have contacted us at The Healing Feeling, worried that they feel they have ‘lost’ their child and that ‘they just want their little boy/girl back,’ in an emotional sense.  Some children begin to develop physical symptoms if the emotional issues are not dealt with appropriately as a result.  For example, children can begin to hurt others or themselves physically or they can give up on themselves.

The Government and Education authorities are recognising the need to ensure that children get an education in Emotional Literacy.  Emotional Literacy, put simply, is when people know what they are feeling and make an effort to know what others are feeling. The Government have introduced an entire curriculum: SEALS (Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning) into schools. Although this is a step in the right direction, Healing Feeling 4 Kids has already made a head start by giving children an opportunity for active learning NOW in order to grow into emotionally literate and well rounded individuals.  For example, one mother was surprised that her son said ‘I love you’ for the first time and she recalled that he began singing again during playtimes at home, all of which she accredited to the course.

The workshop takes place in a non-threatening, non-judgemental environment where children have a ‘safe thinking space’ where they are listened to and their views are valued.  The children go away feeling empowered with a new set of life skills that they can draw upon in stressful situations.  Hudisi (15), said that she used the skills learnt to ease the stressful time during her GCSEs.  She went on to say that after her exams were over, she was voted the prom queen by the other students – a title she never expected to achieve even in her dreams.

Some children attended this year because of the testimonials from their older sibling who had attended the previous course and parents who had attended the adult version of the same course.  One such family was Hudisi’s mum and sister.

The workshop has been so successful, that it has attracted a lot of media attention.  Last year (2007) The Times newspaper had a feature article about The Healing Feeling and the workshop was also featured in on News Talk radio.  This year (2008) a former Cambridge graduate doing her second masters degree based her dissertation on how the workshop benefits and promotes the well-being in children.  She realised the great potential of the experiences of visualization and relaxation with children as taught in The Healing Feeling workshop.  These benefits are under-researched in the sphere of Educational Psychology at present.  Her findings will be published on the web-site soon.

Also this year, a journalist from the private Coutts Bank (the Queen’s local bank!) became interested and believed that her clients would find this work very rewarding for their children.  Her article can be viewed at www.couttswoman.com. 

The Healing Feeling 4 Kids is producing a DVD highlighting the activities and what a typical session is like, with testimonials from parents and the children - this will be posted on the web-site soon.

The Healing Feeling 4 Kids uses the motto “Think Happy to be Happy.”  This is part of ‘Positive psychology’, a new branch of psychology, which aims not to mend people as if they are broken, but to focus on the positive parts of the person, and how they can grow. This method shows children how easy it is to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.  Children seem to always get negative messages from one place or another. If these beliefs are not challenged the child may believe them and this may affect their self-esteem and may feel unmotivated to try and change these negative beliefs to achieve their full potential. 

The Healing Feeling 4 Kids shows children how to consider these negative remarks which they receive.  In one activity, the children discussed negative things that bullies and other children had said to them. They came up with examples such as, “You’re ugly”, and, “You’re stupid”; even remarks such as, “You’re rubbish at running”. The children constructed role plays to help them to consider these remarks and counteract them with a positive reply, for example, “I am getting better at running each day”. The children were excited to find a way to extinguish these negative beliefs with positive affirmations.  Another method they used was saying these positive statements to themselves in a mirror, which has proven to be very effective. 

One girl said she started to use this technique at home and it made her feel more confident in herself.  Her mum commented on the changes she noticed, she noticed that her daughter was “more open about things, and more confident in talking to [me]”.  She also noticed her daughter was “less stressed and more relaxed”. This particular girl was very keen on her game console before and her mother wanted her to meet new people.  By the end of the course she was confident that her daughter was “more connected” and had made new friends.

Another girl added that when people said she was “tiny”, she would now respond, “I’m little on the outside, but big on the inside” and this demonstrates positive psychology at work in it’s simplest form.  

Many of the creative games and discussions encourage the children to be positive and open.  They help the children learn interactively and to establish new patterns of thinking.  During the visualization activity, the children are guided through a series of safe, yet thought provoking scenarios, where they imagine empowering and motivating images which is personal to them. One visualization uses the theme of finding their power animal - a symbol for the children’s’ inner resources and the qualities which they need, for example, confidence. This really grabs the children’s’ imagination. 

One boy, imagined a ‘pan-che’ which was a cross between a Panda and a Cheetah. He described the qualities of this wonderful creature that he would like to possess and painted a detailed picture, this boy had been diagnosed with ADHD.  For this particular child it was a remarkable achievement, as for him to be able to focus and concentrate on a concept like this, to develop an idea, and express it coherently, demonstrates the value of relaxation and visualization.  Another boy imagined a compass which turns your emotions from negative to the corresponding positive emotion in an instant e.g. from sad to happy.  He had used his visualisation to think positivey. These are just some of the many examples of children immediately putting into practice the techniques they had learned in the workshop.

As the course went on, the children appeared more relaxed and keen to interact with one another.  Whilst sitting and having fun together, or playing football, the children gained more confidence in expression.

Children today unfortunately, cannot play together on the streets after dark anymore. These days, children spend more time confined to their homes sometimes reliant on computers and game consoles to gain a sense of interaction. One child, who seemed shy and defensive at first, brought her game console to play with on the first day.  However, once into the swing of the day, she chose to interact with another girl instead. By the last day her mood had changed, and she was talking animatedly within the group.  The positive impact of what she had learnt had helped her to overcome her shyness and actively join in with what others were doing.

The Healing Feeling 4 Kids incorporates many different activities, which give the children options and encourage them to develop and share ideas.  This is similar to the latest techniques in play therapy, practiced internationally, which use only toys that can be a tool for the child to play out their own experiences.  There is limited scope for expression and learning using computerized toys, and competitive board games, although these are good for certain skills. 

During the workshop there is a lot of discussion, where patience and listening is nurtured. The children learn to respect peers and adults alike, and in this climate of respect, can easily reflect and contribute to the group without fear or judgement.

Some of the games the children participate in encourage an awareness of body language. Under the pressure that schools now experience, it is easy for children to take on board negative physical cues from teachers, and other adults which are the product of stress and anger.  It is important for children to recognise what body language is good and which is bad.  Children’s awareness of body language can also be important for being assertive with those who are bullying them, and to make the child feel better about themselves.

During one game the children were asked to act out a range of emotions e.g. angry or happy and the other children had to guess which emotion they were demonstrating. One child, acted his emotion out by pretending to be punching somebody. The other children all presumed he was being angry, but surprisingly he was actually suggesting confidence!  This is why exercises in body language are a useful learning activity so children can express themselves in an appropriate way and they can see how others perceive what they are doing.  We looked at anger and confidence in more detail and the subtleties in body language which show these emotions.

Another innovative practice which is integrated into the workshop is massage. This is done child-to-child, and carefully supervised, this photograph shows the massage during the parent-child day.  It is a seated massage, and the techniques are safe and simple, but highly beneficial.  It is the same practice which is being introduced in schools all over the nation, called the Massage for Schools program. The children have to ask each other if they are permitted to massage them, promoting a huge understanding of the need for respect.  For example one child immediately needed to be gentler, and he needed to work on his awareness of the other person. The emotional benefits of this exercise can be witnessed instantly. One boy enjoyed being massaged, and grew calmer.  The massage also encourages good motor skills and spatial awareness which is extremely important for all children especially those with certain types of special needs which can affect ability in sport and academic work.
 
One boy’s mother said that she would “recommend this course to all and feel it should be accessible and available to all”.  She said her son had handled the challenges of the workshop “beautifully”. Another mother said that her child felt “better about her height issues” and had better control of anger. These immediate changes are just the start. As the children use the skills they have learned to think positively and to imagine and interact positively, they will find it easier to learn, achieve and build relationships in the future.

©Usha Chudasama 2008